sports & stitches

It totally blows me away that people out there, particularly in Europe, still have a vested interest in old DuPage Collective releases. Even the people involved directly with the DC haven’t thought about some of these records in years, so the fact that these posts are peaking interest to people out in the vast reaches of the internet is mind-blowing.

I keep coming up with little things here and there that I think are worth sharing, as long as there still seem to be interested parties out there. These mp3s are from the demo of .five.fingers.half.a.hand., a band featuring members of a bunch of other DuPage bands. .five.fingers.half.a.hand. came about in the summer of 1998 and lasted until 2000.

I’m not sure where I got a copy of the demo, but here it is.¹

1. Similes and metaphoars are as useless as a $3 bill.

2. Goddamn bugs whacked us Johnny!

3. The commisar vanishes.

4. A one-way street to what the fuck is going on.

5. Don’t do it Allison Bly!

¹ Also, I’m not sure if the misspellings are intentional or not. I included what the mp3s were titled on my hard drive and I don’t have a hard copy to reference. ↑

Our Peyton, who art in Indy, hallowed be thy arm. Thy Bowl will come, it will be won, in Miami as it was in ‘07. Give us this Sunday, our weekly win, And give us many touchdowns, as our defense prevents scores against us. And lead us not into frustration; But deliver us a Super Bowl, for thine is the Championship of the the NFL, and the glory of Indy forever and ever. Amen!! GO COLTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those of you that know me personally know that I have been a HUGE fan of Conan O’Brien for a very long time. I used to stay up and watch Late Night with Conan O’Brien most nights, always being more interested in his monologue and bits than any of the interviews or god-awful musical guests. (Lets face it: even though Last Call with Carson Daly is on so late that people forget it exists, Carson was able to pull out his MTV Frequent Hosting card to get great musical talent to play on his show). Seeing him take over the mantel of the Tonight Show was exciting. And although it took him a while to get comfortable and get the ball rolling, the show was new and fun and very promising. He’s a fantastic writer, and with a good team of people to bounce ideas off of he really comes up with fantastic and fun stories and gags. (If you can’t tell, I’m much more interested in Conan as a writer and comedian more than an interviewer or Late Night personality.)

Some of his best work was during the hayday of The Simpsons, when he was a producer and writer. He spent time with the show from 1991-93, and penned some of the best and most memorable episodes in the show’s history.

I was going to come out and say “Here is his best episode EVAR” but you know what? I’m just going to put all four of them here and let you watch. I’ll tell you which one I think is best (and why) next week.

S4E08: “New Kid on the Block”

The Simpsons 408

S4E12: “Marge vs. the Monorail”

The Simpsons 412

S5E03: “Homer Goes to College”

The Simpsons 503

S5E05: “Treehouse of Horror IV”

The Simpsons 505

Although the thought of Conan going off the air makes me a sad panda, I have to say that I’d love to see him get back to writing again. More Conan-penned Simpsons episodes (maybe a Conan-penned Futurama episode!) would be incredible. And the show could definitely benefit from it, as the last 10 seasons have been slowly sliding down a narrow hill.

I believe this is a 7″ that would be considered ‘self-titled,’ though there is something of a subject line underneath the band name on the record sleeve:

front sleeve

Oh and in case you couldn’t tell, this is a music post.

Ahem.

Step Forward Look West was a band out of the glorious DuPage Hardcore days, though towards the end of it. Well, at least the end of my time involved before I ran off to get numerous college degrees in other states (how dare I?!).

I seriously enjoy this record, still. I think it came out in 2002 at some point, and was recorded in November 2001. I know this because of the rockin’ silk-screened poster that came with buying the 7″. It’s seriously amazing, though too large for me to scan and share. Maybe I’ll take a horrible picture of it someday so you can see it in all its glory.

The names of the songs may very well be the best part of the record.

back sleeve

Now, prepare yourself for fast and loud. Explicit lyrics warning. And it’s probably worth saying that these tracks were ripped from a 7″ record using an ion usb turntable. And not ripped all that well, either. Well, that’s not true. They sound alright.

Side A-

1. a name on the board with three checks only means i can fuck up twice without getting in trouble.

2. you can’t spell “goonies” without the word “go!”

3. a disfunctional family is any family with two or more members.

4. one two three not it!

5. it’s open season on crybabies and you’re fucking next.

Side B-

1. i never thought i’d say the words “i hate you” and fucking mean it.

2. jesus, elvis, and the easter bunny walk into a bar.

3. alice don’t surf.

4. the tcri strikes again!

5. it’s like pissing in a shower with a slow drain and standing in a stagnating pool of your own urine.

Interesting how I believe I completely avoided using any profane words on this blog until this very post. And those profanities coming from just the titles of the songs.

Anyway, listen and enjoy.

Until next time.

The DuPage Collective

Welp. A year has passed and what have I actually accomplished? I learned how to spin, I work at a yarn shop, I made a new pattern, I’ve done test knitting, I’ve unsuccessfully busted my yarn stash, and I’m just as disorganized as ever.

But.

It’s the future now and I feel like I have this magical clean slate to work from. Or maybe all the time I spent cleaning my house today has clouded my judgment.

Basically, my goal for this year is to Think Big and be more independent. I want to knit bigger projects: cardigans, pullovers, lace shawls, etc. I want to make staple foods on my own: breads, jam, canned veggies and fruits, etc. I want to try to make everything on my own at least once. Even if I do so poorly, at least I’ve tried.

I also really want to organize and pare myself down. I have SO many old video game systems and games that I haven’t touched in years. I’m just going to sell it all off. I have tons of old yarn that I have no desire to touch. I’m going to send more stuff to charity organizations. I’m going to get new organizers from the Container Store and I’m going to clean up my room and house more often.

It’s time to grow up and take care of myself. You know?

There are quite a few non-me related things that I am totally stoked about this year:
- NEW FUTURAMA EPISODES GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN YES
- Matt Smith taking over as The Doctor
- The Grand Moff taking over as show runner on Doctor Who
- A new Alkaline Trio album in February
- Alkaline Trio/Cursive tour (seeing them at Emo’s in Austin in late March)
- Going to Gallifrey One in February

Less talk, more rock soon.
- ek